It's Derby Eve in the big Derby City!

Thought I'd take a break with the Kentucky Derby only hours away... and mull over the Kentucky Derby field in my official Kentucky Derby Program.

Hmmm... no scratches.  All of the ponies will be running.

I guess I'll do what I usually do.  Bet on all of the long shots... hoping that one of them will luck-up and win it all!  Sorta like I'm hoping my Nicky Anosike and the Los Angeles Sparks will do in the WNBA this season!

But you know... looking at the names of these long shot Kentucky Derby entries... they're kinda hinting that I might have a winner... at least as far as the L.A. Sparks are concerned.

Check this out...

Prospective -- 69-1

Prospective!  See what I'm talking about?!  The Los Angeles Sparks are the "Prospective" 2012 WNBA Champs! 

Alpha -- 22-1

Alpha!  BAM!  They're "Alpha" A-1!  The Alpha dog, dawg!

Liaison -- 60-1

Liaison!  They have a "Liaison" with destiny!

Optimizer -- 31-1

Optimizer!  Man, you can't get any more perfect than that! 

Rousing Sermon -- 19-1

Rousing Sermon!  That could be a rousing locker room speech... that inspires the Sparks all the way to the title!

Done Talking -- 34-1

Done Talking!  Yeah, baby!  When you're all "Done Talking"... it's time to go out there and leave it all on the court!

Sabercat -- 38-1

Sabercat!  That's what the Sparks have to fight and claw like... a "Sabercat"!  Never seen one, myself.  But I bet they're pretty fierce!

Daddy Long Legs -- 26-1

Daddy Long Legs!  "Daddy", please let their legs be long enough to runaway with it! 

El Padrino -- 33-1

El Padrino!  "El Padrino" is the Latino Godfather!  That's us, baby!  And I'll be El-Padrino-macking all up and down Figueroa if we win it all!

Trinniberg -- 41-1

Trinniberg!  Uh... ...I'm feeling nothing about this one here!  But yeah!  Trinniberg!

Went The Day Well -- 20-1

Went The Day Well!  Well, if all of my long shots run well... my day will go pretty damm swell!

And if that happens... hailyeah!  I'll Have Another (17-1)!

But with my bum luck picking Kentucky Derby winners... Take Charge Indy (8-1) is probably some kind of omen that the Indiana Fever are going to come up with some kinda Creative Cause (12-1) to nose-out my Los Angeles Sparks at the wire.

I guess Daddy Nose Best (14-1), Bodemeister (8-1).

Union Rags (6-1) may be our portion, if there's no Gemologist (8-1) in L.A.'s future.

All the luck always seems to go to the Irish guys like Hansen (7-1) and Dullahan (10-1) and gals like Indiana's Tammy O'Sutton, Tamika McCatchings, Katie Douglas and Lin Dunn'agan.

Jeepers... it's Derby Eve!

And it's raining so hard that the horses are going to have to swim across the finishline in the big Run for the Roses tomorrow!

But the party's on 'til dawn!

That would be great... if only I was on the other side of the bar.

But from behind the bar... with both of our bars are packed... it's all work!  No sleep tonight.  We're open 24 hours!

Great for the pocketbook!  Bad for the feet... and the lower back!

Well, my break's over!

Got my picks.  Gonna play my hunches.

Best of luck to you all!

Here's hoping your horse comes in... sooner or later! (lol)

The WNBA enters its 16th season this summer with 12 teams scattered throughout the United States... in Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago, Atlanta, D.C., Seattle, Indianapolis, Minneapolis, San Antonio, Phoenix, Tulsa and in the Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut.

But if you want to read-up on the WNBA at cbssports.com... you're out of luck.

Why?!

Because cbssports.com doesn't even have a page, listing or message board for the WNBA!

So, WNBA fans... here's an update on the upcoming WNBA season... just for you.
With the 2012 WNBA Draft out of the way and training camps opening on April 29th... these 12 WNBA franchises have only two weeks to pull it all together before the season officially starts on May 18th.

But this will be no ordinary season for the WNBA.  It's season will be interrupted right before the playoffs... for 30 days... while 12 of their best players join forces to comprise the U.S. Olympic Team that will represent the USA in the 2012 London Olympic Games.

Such an interruption would totally decimate any other league.  But the WNBA... to its credit... manages to handle this shutdown extremely well... every four years... mustering its resources... to answer the call of its country.

Cudos to the WNBA, its franchise owners, its fans and its players!

So, if you love America and you love winning gold medals... you should really looooove the WNBA!  And you should pledge to support it whenever there is a WNBA game near you.

Why?

Because these ladies have won four straight gold medals for the United States of America... a feat that not even their male counterparts can claim over the same 20-year period.  If the women's Team USA captures the gold in the London Olympics this summer... it will be their 5th... STRAIGHT!

So, God Bless America... and the WNBA!

And GOLD Bless Team USA!

Meanwhile, in the WNBA...

The reigning WNBA Champion Minnesota Lynx have invited 11 rookies to their training camp.  But with four 2011 WNBA All-Stars and three Lynx players on the 2012 Team USA headed to London... the Lynx only have room for one of those rookies to make their roster.  And that one rookie will more than likely be Notre Dame's Devereaux Peters... the #3 pick in the draft.

Minnesota is rock solid... and is a sure bet to defend its title.

Veteran Brazilian guard-forward Iziane Castro-Marques is out in Atlanta as the Dream re-sign 6'5" Brazilian center Erika de Souza... a member of the Brazilian National Team that qualified for the 2012 Olympics, as well.

But look for the big 6'5" blond from Belarus... Yelena Leuchanka... to pick up the slack in the post for the Dream in Erika's absence.  The Dream re-signed Yelena this offseason... after she missed last season to compete with her Belarus National Team that subsequently failed to qualify for the London Olympics at the World Championships in the Czech Republic last October.  

The Atlanta Dream have reached the WNBA Finals for the past two years... falling just short of winning the crown both times.  But this year, assistant coach Carol Ross has moved cross-country to Los Angeles to take over the Sparks.  Will she be missed on Atlanta's sidelines?  That remains to be seen.

But what is pretty evident for the Dream right now is that their superstar forward Angel McCoughtry... a member of the London-bound Team USA... is healthy and in rare form after a successful offseason in Turkey. 

Look for UConn rookie Tiffany Hayes to make this roster, along with Aneika Henry and Ketia Swanier.

The Seattle Storm are one year removed from their 2010 WNBA title.  And with their 3-time league MVP Lauren Jackson staying downunder to represent her native Australian National Team in the London Games... the Storm will be looking for someone to fill her enormous shoes this season.  And enormous is who they found in 6'8" American journeyman Lindsay Taylor from the European leagues.

Up until the Stom signed Taylor, their hopes to fill their center position rested with Belgian WNBA center Ann Wauters... who has not played in the WNBA since going on maternity leave two years ago.  And while Team USA starting point guard Sue Bird will be headed for London with Team USA... she'll be leaving behind former 2004 and 2008 Team USA teammate Tina Thompson... a 2-time Olympic gold medalist and a 4-time WNBA Champion with the now-defunct Houston Comets... who signed with the Storm during the offseason.  Former Team USA guard Katie Smith... a 3-time Olympic gold medalist and a 2-time WNBA Champion with the now-defunct Detroit Shock... will also remain behind in Seattle after winning three straight gold medals with Team USA.

But the biggest battle brewing in Seattle's training camp will be in its frontcourt with former Kentucky standout Victoria Dunlap (whom they acquired from D.C. during the offseason), rookie Tennessee Lady Vol Shekinna Strickland (the #2 pick in the draft) and Middle Tennessee State prolific scorer Alysha Clark (acquired after honing her skills overseas the past two years) all battling for a spot on the Storm's roster.  However, anybody trying to fit into Seattle's frontcourt will have to go through their stellar forward Camille Little.
 
The New York Liberty entered training camp Sunday with 6 centers on their roster... 4 of them are returning from last year.  Talk about overkill.

One good thing for the Liberty this season is that their Olympic gold medalist superstar guard Cappie Pondexter was snubbed by Team USA Coach Geno Auriemma for the London Games... simply because Cappie would not re-arrange her personal schedule to join Team USA for the World Championships last year.  That's a good thing for New York... because Cappie will be able to focus all of her talents and energies on winning the Eastern Conference for her loyal New York fans.

But with 12-year veteran Kelly Miller signing with the Liberty during the offseason, the bigger question will be who will be joining Cappie in the backcourt in New York?  Kelly Miller or Liberty darling Leilani Mitchell?  

The Phoenix Mercury lost Aussie star forward Penny Taylor to a torn ACL overseas before training camp even got underway. She will miss the season in Phoenix, as well as, the Olympics with her native Australian National Team.  Diana Taurasi, however, will be joining Team USA in London where she will be going for her third straight Olympic gold medal.

And while the Mercury were able to secure Charde Houston from Minnesota to add to their heavy artillery... the biggest battle in Phoenix's training camp will be for the point guard position... after the exit of Temeka Johnson during the offseason to the Tulsa Shock.  Among the 4 point guards vying for that position is flashy Ohio State rookie Samantha Prahalis.

The Connecticut Sun could have skipped the WNBA Draft altogether... with the young, talented team they have.

Although superstar center Tina Charles and power forward Asjha Jones are headed to London this summer with Team USA... the Sun have plenty of guns to fall back on... to include former Duke star (and Chubby Checker's daughter) Mistie Bass-Mimms... after taking a year off last season.

The San Antonio Silver Stars will, no doubt, lose their star guard Becky Hammon to the London Olympics, as well.  Even though she is an American, Becky has a dual citizenship that allows her to represent Russian in the Olympics... just as she did in 2008.  Aussie guard Tully Bevilaqua will also be away downunder preparing with the Australian National Team for the Olympics.

But the Silver Stars' training camp is brimming with talent with rookie Shenise Johnson challenging Danielle Robinson, Jia Perkins and Loree Moore for a spot in San Antonio's backcourt.  And with the addition of 3-point specialists Tangela Smith and Shameka Christon... Sophia Young and Danielle Adams will have plenty of backup in the Silver Stars' frontcourt.

Indiana Fever All-World power forward Tamika Catchings... the reigning league MVP... is also headed to London with Team USA.  And perhaps Aussie guard Erin Phillips will meet her there as a member of the Australian National Team.  But with guard Briann January back from a season-ending injury last year... the Fever stand poised in the East to challenge for a WNBA title this year.

The Tulsa Shock will lose 6'8" Aussie sensation Lizzie Cambage to the Australian National team until August 17th.  But Tulsa has blunted that blow by drafting two Tennessee Lady Vols centers, 6'3" Glory Johnson and 6'4" Vicki Vaughn, and 6'4" center Lynetta Kizer out of Maryland.

And with the addition of a legitimate point guard like Temeka Johnson from Phoenix, Tulsa has stacked its backcourt with explosive talent like Ivory Latta, Scholanda Robinson-Dorrell, rookie Riquna Williams and Shanna Crossley-Zolman.

Maybe this will be the year that the Shock move out of the WNBA's basement.

While Chicago Sky superstar center Sylvia Fowles and forward Swin Cash plan to join Team USA in London... their Sky teammates plan to shake up the East with a retooled potent offense.

Head Coach and General Manager Pokey Chatman acquired former WNBA Champions Swin Cash, Le'Coe Willingham, Ruth Riley and Ticha Penicheiro during the offseason to go along with Sylvia Fowles, Epiphanny Prince and Courtney Vandersloot in Chicago.  It's nice to see Pokey back in American basketball after her swift fall from grace at LSU 5 or 6 years ago.  What a sharp coaching mind... destined for greatness in the WNBA!

Watch out for the Chicago Sky this season!

The Los Angeles Sparks' roster that once featured four or five Olympic gold medalists now sends off Candace Parker to join Team USA in the London Olympics.

But new head coach Carol Ross has to feel like Los Angeles has picked D.C.'s pocket with the acquisition of superstar guard Alana Beard, All-Star center Nicky Anosike and Marissa Coleman from the Washington Mystics during the offseason.

And with the addition of the #1 pick in the draft... Stanford's Nneka Ogwumike... if these ladies gel and get hot for Los Angeles this season... the Sparks will have to change their name to the Flames... the Red Hot Flames! 

And finally, the Washington Mystics have only five players left from last year's roster... Crystal Langhorne, Monique Currie, Matee Ajavon, Kerri Gardin and Jasmine Thomas. 

Yep... after a disappointing season under head coach and General Manager Trudi Lacey... the Mystics decided to gut its roster.  Not its front office.

The odd thing is that the Washington Mystics did the exact same thing in 2008... right before the Beijing Olympics... gutting their roster and dealing away one of their superstar attractions, Taj McWilliams-Franklin.

Taj went on that year to win a WNBA Championship with the now-defunct Detroit Shock... while the Mystics crashed and burned.  And after the season was over... owner Sheila C. Johnson gutted her front office and her coach's box.

Now, 4 years later... Trudi Lacey has gutted her locker room... sending her superstar guard Alana Beard to Los Angeles.

Could history repeat itself for the Mystics?  Will Alana pick up a WNBA title in L.A. this year... à la Taj McWilliams-Franklin four years ago?

If history does repeat itself in D.C., Trudi Lacey had better clean out her desk.  Because she'll surely be the next to go.

That's the WNBA leading into its 16th season.

Go check out a game!  

Man... I swear I think that folks have been paying attention to my threads in the WNBA Fan Vociw forum over the past four years.

Because the WNBA... and a lot of teams... are now addressing some of the things I've pointed out over the past couple of years... just as if they have been ear-hustling in on my discussions.

And I don't think that's karma or something.  But I do think that that's a really smart thing for them to do... listen to their most staunchest critics and their most faithful fans.

I think we have made some really good suggestions and given a lot of sound advice... about how the WNBA can improve itself and do what they do better.

And it's nice to see some of these suggestions and advice come right out of my threads and be actualized... implemented.

One thing, in particular... is the players that the WNBA selected this year to participate in the NBA All-Star Weekend festivities.

That was one of my many complaints last year... when the WNBA selected a couple of less-attractive, less-marketable players to participate in the NBA All-Star festivities.

I have always felt that the WNBA's annual involvement in the NBA All-Star festivities has repeatedly been lost opportunities to aggressively sell the WNBA to a worldwide audience... and to new corporate sponsors.

Seldom had the WNBA aggressively planned to have its best foot forward... its best players available... to participate and showcase both the talent and the runway-model-like looks that can be found on rosters throughout the WNBA.

Last year... we had real humble-looking players from the WNBA's "B" list representing the league to millions and millions of people.

And while players like Roneeka Hodges and CoCo Miller exhibited great skills during last year's NBA All-Star festivities... they were not the true and best face of the WNBA.

I mean... former NBA cutie Steve Smith , present NBA cutie Al Horford and a rather earthy CoCo Miller may have won the Shooting Star competition the night before the NBA All-Star Game.  But neither Steve nor Al seemed too anxious to hug-her-up after their win.

I remember saying that the WNBA should have taken better advantage of the situation... and pushed some of its real "A" list stars to the forefront... even if it meant paying to fly them in from overseas for the occasion.

I knew that Angel McCoughtry flew herself in from Turkey last year for her own basketball clinic and to be the first woman to have her jersey number retired by the University of Louisville in the Yum Center.  Then she flew right back to Turkey to finish her season there.

The WNBA could have done the same with players that they would have preferred to be in the NBA All-Star festivities last year... players who were more marketable.

But this year, in WNBA President Laurel Richie's sophomore year... they seem to have gotten it right.

Pretty are many of the faces... big are some of the names... and excellent are the talents... that are representing the WNBA in the NBA All-Star festivities this year... Sophia Young of the San Antonio Silver Stars... Lindsey Harding of the Atlanta Dream... Cappie Pondexter of the New York Liberty... 2011 WNBA MVP Tamika Catchings of the Indiana Fever... Marie Ferdinand-Harris of the Phoenix Mercury... Ruth Riley of the Chicago Sky... and on and on and on.

This year the WNBA pulled in Cappie and Tamika... who are easily identified with the continuous success of Team USA in the Olympic Games.

Next year the WNBA can pull in Maya Moore, Diana Taurasi, Tina Charles and Angel McCoughtry.

These are names and faces that even fans outside of the WNBA are familiar with... due to their illustrious collegiate careers.

And they will sell, sell, sell the WNBA... seizing that opportunity during the NBA All-Star Weekend festivities to grow the WNBA and add to its fanbase.

And that's a good thing, baby.

WNBA fans can now access the official WNBA FanVoice forum through the NBA website... kinda.

You have a backdoor pass into the original WNBA FanVoice forum by going to "Fan Stuff" located on the banner of the official NBA website... choosing "FanVoice"... and then choosing "WNBA".

Former Tennessee Lady Vols back-to-back NCAA Championship center Nicky Anosike is my favorite woman basketball player.  She is currently a restricted free agent with the Washington Mystics.

Suffice it to say that the Mystics had a bad season last year... through no fault of its players.

Some dude in the NBA forum told me:

Nicky [Anosike] would be better off elsewhere I think. She hinted that she wasn't too happy in Washington. I'd take her for the Sun. She'd be a great back up center to Tina Charles. Or if Mike wanted, he could start Tina Asjha and Nicky with Renee and whoever else. But then we'd have to root for the same team Dee, and I don't think we'd like to do that. LOL 

 
I told him... that I didn't think that Nicky Anosike was unhappy being in D.C. with the Mystics.

I think she was unhappy... and justifiably so... with the way Trudi Lacey coached and managed the Mystics last year.

With a 6-28 season last year... Trudi Lacey was an utter failure as the Mystics' head coach and General Manager last season!

The fact that any of the ladies from last year's roster got shipped out or fired by the Mystics... under these circumstances... is so unfair, when we all know that the root of the Mystics' problems is Trudi Lacey's scrawny-ess!

Changing the Mystics' personnel and not changing the Mystics' coach and General Manager after such a horrible season is as though the Mystics are content with changing their underwear without first washing their funky behinds.

But if the Mystics do not re-sign Nicky, I'd like to see Nicky reunite with her old Tennessee teammate, superstar Candace Parker, in Los Angeles... or with former NCAA Champion out of Baylor, Sophia Young, in San Antonio... or with 2-time WNBA Champion, former Rutgers standout Cappie Pondexter, In New York.

If Nicky goes to the Los Angeles Sparks, that will allow Candace Parker to go back out on the perimeter and face the basket. And that's when Candace is at her best.

In San Antonio, Nicky is the strength they need under the boards... ranking among the top 5 rebounders in the WNBA last year.  Sophia needs help down in San Antonio.  They didn't re-sign their 6'5" center, Ruth Riley.  And 6'4" second-year center Jayne Appel is still learning the position against WNBA competition.  Nicky would be a great fit for the San Antonio Silver Stars.

The same is true for the New York Liberty.  New York got pushed around under the boards against teams with veterans in the paint... teams like the Indiana Fever and the Atlanta Dream.  Nicky would shore-up New York's frontline.

On the hand, the Connecticut Sun have a pretty strong frontcourt with former UConn Lady Husky Tina Charles anchoring the team.  They just lack experience and consistency.  They don't need Nicky.  They need consistent play from everyone on their roster.  They're really rock-hard solid.

But no matter where Nicky goes... you can best believe that I'll be in that team's forum firing up the chatter.

Okay... okay... now Washington Mystics head coach and General Manager Trudi Lacey's preseason massive trades and signings are beginning to look more and more like the republican presidential nominating process... confused, agonizing and oh, so goofy.

The first order of business for Lacey should have been to re-sign Mystics superstar forward Crystal Langhorne... the team's leading scorer and rebounder and lone WNBA All-Star last season... and a restricted free agent this season.

Today... Trudi Lacey signed Crystal Langhorne's former University of Maryland teammate 6'5" Laura Harper... an unsigned free agent who hasn't played in the WNBA since 2008.

Maybe this is another desperate effort by Lacey to convince Crystal Langhorne to stay in D.C. and re-sign... and not holdout for a sign-and-trade... like Mystics point guard Lindsey Harding did last season.

But will it work?

Lacey also signed 6'1" Ashley Walker... another unsigned free agent who played exactly one game (for 6 minutes) in the WNBA last season... with the last place Tulsa Shock.

Lacey is touting both Laura's and Ashley's current stats overseas in Turkey as her motivation for punching their tickets to get back into the WNBA.

Yeah... Turkey... the TKBL... this is the league that had lead-footed, unsigned free agent Christi Thomas as a league MVP this week.

Yeah, right!

I mean... the TKBL has WNBA superstars like Angel McCoughtry, Penny Taylor, Tina Charles, Diana Taurasi, Monica Wright and Charde Houston.  

And Christi Thomas is their league's MVP?! (lol)  

Yeah, man!  That Turkish-weed must be reeeeaally goooood, comradesky! (lol) 

Uhhuh... Ashley Walker is the leading scorer on her Turkish team with a 17.7 point average.  But her team features lowlight performers like Ashley Paris, Natasha Lacy and Tiffany Jackson.

But if performance in the Turkisk TKBL is the reason why Lacey signed Laura Harper and Ashley Walker... well... then that should also be the reason why Lacey should think twice about re-signing Mystics guard/forward Monique Currie.

Lacey designated Monique as the Mystics' core player... prohibiting her from going to another team... even though she's an unrestricted free agent. 

However... Monique is really not playing like a cored player in Turkey... averaging 16 points and 7 rebounds... while shooting 20% from behind the 3-point arc... and averaging 3 turnovers to 2.1 assists per game.

She doesn't look like a marquee player.  Or at the very least... Monique Currie doesn't look like she's really back at full speed, following the ACL knee surgery last February that caused her to miss 30 games last season.

But it looks like Lacey is hitching her wagon to Monique Currie... rightly or wrongly.

It also looks like Lacey is using Monique Currie as her talent scout in Turkey.  

And only time will tell if that is a good thang or a bad thang.

Lord knows that no one could ever accuse Trudi Lacey of making wise decisions! 

At any rate, the Washington Mystics have gotten real big real quick... 6'5" Michelle Snow... 6'5" Ashley Robinson... 6'5" Laura Harper.

I sure-as-hail hope that Trudi Lacey realizes that she has to change her offense to accommodate all of this new size.

And I hope that she just turns new assistant coach Jennifer Gillom... Grand MahMah... aloose to work with these bigs.

Also signed by Lacey today was Mystics forward Kerri Gardin... for "some continuity".

Tru-di La-cey!  

If your team only won 6 out of 34 games last year... you don't want any "continuity" from that team or that season, sugar!

In fact... if you're Lacey, after a 6-28 season... you want to make damm-sure that you wash your-ess, change your underwear and try not to step in the... uh... mess you created all around you and track that mess all over a clean floor... a new season.   

In 28 games last season... Kerri Gardin shot 23.7% from the field... 51.7% from the frickin' freethrow line.

And she looks and acts like a BOY!

Kerri averaged 1.5 points, 2.7 rebounds and almost as many turnovers as assists per game in those 28 outings last season.

What "continuity" could Kerri Gardin possibly offer the Mystics... other than in the LOSS column?! 

And did I mention that Kerri Gardin looks and acts like a frickin' MAN!

She is a WNBA marketing nightmare!

With the WNBA trying to grow their league... image is everything!  

If Kerri Gardin is going to look and act like a man... she needs to go play in the NBA!  Not the WNBA!

But if she's going to play in the WNBA... Kerri should make some kind of effort to... separate her eyebrows... unsag her pants... take some of that bass out of her voice... at least, braid the hair on her legs and in her armpits... apply alittle "Snap-Back" hair product to her dreads... and look and act like a lady... even if she's not completely comfortable with her femininity.

Believe me!  Kerri Gardin can't possibly be more uncomfortable looking like a woman... than WNBA fans are uncomfortable with her trudging around the WNBA looking and acting like a man.

"Continuity", my-eye!

As far as I'm concerned... the only "continuity" that Trudi Lacey should be concerning herself with after such a horrendous season last year is the "continuity" in her unemployment benefits! 

I just wasted 6:55 minutes listening to a videotaped interview of Washington Mystics head coach-General Manager Trudi Lacey talking about the upcoming WNBA Draft and the 2012 WNBA season.

Now... this is the lady that led the 22-12 2010 regular season WNBA Eastern Conference Champion Mystics to a 6-28 season in 2011.

And I have to admit that I have been very vocal about Lacey's shortcomings while calling the shots in the Mystics' front office and on the Mystics' sidelines.  I've even called her nutz... insane... clueless.

But in this interview she said that she was using Skype and Cynergy to show the players all the things they need to work on for the next WNBA season while they're playing overseas.

But when the the interviewer asked Lacey about the personal changes she needed to make this year... this fool... I mean... Lacey said she decided to "stop eating processed food"!

Yep... that oughta really help the Mystics this season!

Only if Trudi Lacey STARVES herself to death!

Then maybe they could get a new head coach.

Now, that's definitely one way to get-ur-done!

Because unless Lacey is grazing on grass in her own front yard and slaughtering her own livestock for bacon and burgers... she's most definitely eating "processed food" of some kind.  Or she's going to starve herself to death!

So, let's hope she's starving herself to death... since Lacey can't seem to bring herself to fire herself as the Mystics' head coach.

Go ahead and graze, Lacey!

Her plan this year for the Mystics can't be any worse than her plan last year!

So, yeah, Lacey should lay-off of real food... until she gets weak and delirious enough to just pass-the-hell-out.

And maybe then Mystics owner Sheila C. Johnson could muster-up enough sense to drag Lacey's delirious butt out of the Mystics front office and slide somebodyelse in.

So, I'm not gonna say nuthin' bad about the Washington Mystics.  Because this plan... as bizarre as it is... may actually work-out for Mystics fans like me.
 

It's a good decision for Washington Mystics General Manager and head coach Trudi Lacey to hire Jennifer Gillom.

Gillom is a Hall of Famer and the menacing Grand Mah-Mah from her days playing in the WNBA.

But it would have been an even better decision by Lacey if she had fired herself and hired Jennifer Gillom as the Mystics head coach.

But no such luck, huh?

At any rate, Gillom will have an immediate impact on player development in the post positions.  She will also be a marked improvement over Lacey in the team morale department.

But if Gillom is not given the power or authority to implement necessary changes with the Mystics... then her presence in D.C. will be wasted... meaningless.

Lacey needs to relinquish the head coaching responsibilities to Gillom... and focus her energies on being a good General Manager.

After all, the Mystics have some major free agents to re-sign before the season starts... Crystal Langhorne, Alana Beard, Nicky Anosike, Monique Currie, Kelly Miller... and DeMya Walker, if she can get into shape.

Then the Mystics have to hone-in on who they want to take in the upcoming WNBA Draft... with the 8th and 10th picks in the first round of the 2012 WNBA Draft.

Maybe if Lacey has enough sense to step down as the Mystics head coach... maybe... just maybe... Mystics fans can put last season behind them... when Lacey single-handedly turned a 22-12 team into a 6-28 team.

But I can't help but wonder if the hiring of Jennifer Gillom as an assistant coach means that Laurie Byrd got the axe toward the end of the season last year?  Laurie just disappeared from the sidelines last season... never to be seen again... probably because she didn't approve of a lot of the mess that Lacey was doing last year.

It just nauseates me to think that Lacey will try to coach the Mystics again this season... especially after the mess she made of the team last season.

The Mystics had a top-5 rebounder in Nicky Anosike for the entire season last year... that is... until Lacey benched her toward the end of the season.

Kelly Miller was the third-best 3-point-shooter in the WNBA last season... shooting 44% from behind the 3-point arc.  But Lacey didn't have a clue as to how she could best use Kelly.

Lacey thought that rookie Victoria Dunlap was good enough to start in Crystal Langhorne's place for three games last season... when Crystal was injured... wherein Victoria averaged 12 points, 6.3 rebounds and 3.7 steals per game.

After Crystal's return to the starting lineup... however... Lacey didn't think that Victoria was good enough to even sub-in for more than an average of 4 minutes per game... after having played Victoria for an average of 32 minutes per game in Crystal's absence.

Crystal Langhorne was top 5 in scoring and top 6 in rebounding.  But she and Matee Ajavon were also top 4 in turnovers... second and fourth, respectively.

Then top all of that off with Lacey letting the #8 pick in last year's draft, 6'6" Ta'Shia Phillips, go to another team IN THE SAME CONFERENCE... for absolutely NOTHING!  No trade.  No money.  No nothing!

Then Lacey picked Kerri Gardin up off of waivers... fired her... and picked her up again... all within a couple of weeks in the middle of the season.

Then Lacey picked up some baby-mama-drama off of waivers when she signed DeMya Walker... and turned the entire ballclub into babysitters for DeMya's small child... who accompanied DeMya EVERYWHERE on team business.

But perhaps one of the biggest mistakes Lacey made last year was cutting four veterans from her final training camp roster and keeping four rookies... two of which she waived in the middle of the season, anyway.

Lacey should have kept 6'5" Angel Robinson out of Mystics training camp... especially after cutting 6'3" veteran Chasity Melvin.

But what's truly amazing is that after all of this... Lacey still has her job!

What is Mystics owner Sheila C. Johnson on?!

I mean... what could she possibly be thinking?

All I can say is that Lacey has got to convince Crystal Langhorne to stay in D.C.... eventhough Lacey is remaining on as the Mystics' head coach.

Then there's Alana Beard, Nicky Anosike, Monique Currie and Kelly Miller.  What's to motivate them to stay in D.C.?

But instead of tackling these very important free agents... Lacey already announced in The Washington Post last year that she plans to re-sign Kerri Gardin and DeMya Walker... two nobodies.

For the life of me... I just don't understand why Lacey would make these two ladies priority signings!  

I only hope that Kerri Gardin emasculates her image... and develops a frickin' game! 

I also hope that DeMya Walker loses some of her massive butt... and gets into shape.  If so, her up-side is good.  If not, she needs to take lil' DeMya and hit the road. 

Seriously!

The Mystics do not need any additional problems. 

We have enough problems... with Lacey calling the shots!